Faulkner re-write with comments

It was late, about two o’clock in the morning and pitch black outside. There was no one left in the café, it was basically empty except for the exception of the old man who enjoyed the night because he was deaf and felt the elegance of the night. He liked to be alone and drink while sitting in the dark corner of the café looking in the distance.[MPS1] The two waiters watching him angry as it were getting late and the café was a mess and still was to be cleaned. The old man however didn’t want to leave he seemed happy and comfortable to be alone in the midst of the dark corner wondering. The man was of 80 years old wrinkled and all, cold, pale and not seeking attention. The two waiters had to ask themselves, who was in charge of this man? Is he alone? Does he have any family?[MPS2]

The old man sat outside in the dark and gloomy night while the two waiters watched him steadily. A young soldier from the military walks by the old man with his wife in the dark shadows and his medal shines and glistens from the light of the moon.[MPS3] The old man then sat looking through the glass of the café and tapping on his glass as a signal for the waiter to come give him a refill on his brandy. By this time the young waiter is very angry and furious at the old man because all he wants to do is go home.

Once the old man tried to hang himself and was cut down by his niece. The young waiter wanted him dead because he was tired of serving the old man. “You should have killed yourself last week,” he said to the deaf man. The young waiter poured the old man his glass of brandy and the old man looks at him with a steady silent face and says to the waiter, “A little more”. [MPS4] The waiter who is now very frustrated goes back inside the café and sits with the other waiter while they look into the night and wonder when this old man will finally get too tired and drunk and get home.

It is now getting very late and the young waiter is getting impatient. He and his colleague are sitting around the café thinking and talking. The young waiter lets the old waiter know that he never sleeps before three o’clock in the morning because he is always tending to the café late at night. He tells the older waiter, “What kind of hour is that to go to bed?” Now he old man is signaling to the young waiter that he wants more brandy. “Another brandy,” he said, pointing to his glass.[MPS5] The young waiter who is now completely frustrated tells the old man he has had enough to drink for the night. “Finished” “Another”, said the old man. “No. finished.” The old man finally gets up and pays the young waiter.[MPS6] They can finally go as the old man gets up slowly and walks out drunk and curious of what will happen next.

The young waiter gets ready to leave and the old waiter stays as he sits in the café, for he is the same as the old man. [MPS7] He appreciates the gloomy and cold nights and enjoys drinking alone in the quiet. The younger waiter says to his colleague, “Come on. Stop talking nonsense and lock up.” The old waiter doesn’t listen and lets the young waiter know that he is one who doesn’t want to sleep and wants to be alone in the dark to drink.[MPS8] The waiter leaves and the old waiter is sat comfortably at the bar talking to himself. He now lies in his cozy, warm bed as it is now light out and the dark has passed. He lets himself know that his times of being up late are probably due to insomnia. “After all, he said to himself, it is probably only insomnia. Many must have it.”[MPS9]

[MPS1]Here I am describing the setting with detail as Faulkner would do. Gives the reader more to focus on and lets them know the hour of night and what the café looks like so late at night.

[MPS2]Here I am describing the old man with great detail early in the story. It brings less questions to the reader about him and it is something Faulkner would definitely do in his writings.

[MPS3]I used much detail in describing this scene because Faulkner uses a lot of detail when describing things.

[MPS4]In this section, I used dialogue, because Faulkner is known for using a lot of dialogue as compared to Hemingway who uses barely any.

[MPS5]Here I describe a time, because it lets the reader know more about the young waiter and his character. I also describe more about the old man as Faulkner would do in detail.

[MPS6]I use dialogue again to describe the scene of how the young waiter is mad at the old man for staying so late. Faulkner uses dialogue many times in his writings.

[MPS7]I use some characterization here in this section, because Faulkner uses some characterization for the reader to get a good hint of the characters and feel they know them.

[MPS8]Here I use more dialogue followed by some characterization. Faulkner uses both many times in his writings. Also, Faulkner uses details to describe his characters as I did here.

[MPS9]Dialogue is used here as well, because Faulkner uses it much to give the reader a better understanding of what’s going on and how the characters act.